Fair and Balanced
by Neokage Tokage
Summary: Originally a spoof chapter in one of my other stories, and now a stand alone. Keiichi gets interviewed by Bill O' Really on Faux news. You can kind of see where this is going...


**Author's Notes**: This was originally posted in my other story the Happy, Happy Hinamazawa Hour as a joke on my readers. In all honesty it had nothing to the story up to that point and hung out there for a while, but to get more readers to see it that haven't read my other story, I decided to make it a stand alone. If you have already read the Bill O' Really chapter of the Happy Happy Hinamazawa Hour read no further there is no new content and you will be mad for wasting your time. For everybody else enjoy. Oh, and I don't own any of the characters blah, blah, blah and if you are easily offended don't read anything I write...ever.

The silver and red studio lights up, as the camera zooms in to focus on the host and Keiichi sitting behind a desk. The older gentleman turns to the camera. "Hello, and welcome to the O'Really Factor. Tonight from the far east comes tonight's guest Jackie Chan."

"Ex...excuse me..." Keiichi interrupts. "I'm not Jackie Chan. I...I'm Keiichi Meabara."Bill looks blankly at him for a second before continuing.

"Tonight from "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" we have Keiichi Macintosh. We'll talk about his movie and how his mastery of the marshal arts had helped him through his role." He turns to Keiichi. "So what was it like training under Chuck Norris?"

"I'm...I'm sorry. I don't know who you think I am, but I'm here to talk about my anime "When They Cry". Keiichi explains.

"Anime? Anime ...Brian give me my notes?" Bill calls, as a stage hand gives him a stack of papers. Bill pulls out his glasses and begins looking them over. "Ah, you mean the Pokemons or like that Sailor Girl I caught my nephew watching on-line doing her naked fighting with the octopus. So do you also peddle smut on-line?"

"What? I don't understand what you're talking about. Here, these are the basic plot-notes of the series." He hands him a few papers held together with a paperclip. Bill takes a few moments to scan the notes furrowing his brow disapprovingly.

"So I first have to get this out of the way this sounds like a cast to some porno." He says leaning back in his chair not breaking his gaze with the papers.

"Sir, I'm sorry but your wrong. There is no pornography in the series." Keiichi tries to explain.

"We have you, a couple of busty twins, a small blond, a brunette all unsupervised in an empty school. All we need is mule and a midget and we have ourselves a party."

"Now, hold on. That is very offensive." Keiichi interrupts.

"I agree." Continues Bill. "Then why did you agree to be part of this?"

"I don't even know what were talking about anymore." Keiichi slaps his forehead in frustration.

"Let's move on then." Bill says, "So you used to live in Tokyo before Hinamazawa where you shot little girls with a air soft gun. How many did you shoot?"

"Well three, but I mean that was a long time ago and..." Keiichi looks down a t his lap ashamed.

"You should check the scope. I shot three times that when I lived in Tokyo. Back to the issue! So while in school with these girls you would play games. I'd assume things "spin the bottle", "Five minutes in paradise", or "Truth or dare". Bill questions.

"No, no things like "old maid" or "Monopoly". More importantly about what you said about you living in Tokyo..."

"I remember when I was living Jesustown, Ireland. We would play wholesome games, like "Fetch your switch", "Name that sin", and "Hurl stones at the town whore". On the subject of religion. This town you're in has a fairly interesting one doesn't it?" Bill asks knowingly.

"Uh...yeah. Hinamazawa worships the guardian deity Oyashiro-sama. At first, I thought that Oyashiro-sama was scary but later I found out it was actually Hanyu-chan." Keiichi says cheerfully holding up a picture of Hanyu.

"So you live in a town plagued with murder, disappearances, madness and torture where you worship a girl with ram horns and you can't figure out why things aren't working out. You know you might find your answer in a little book called the bible and maybe it can help you kick this little habit of yours." Bill states as a picture of Keiichi in a princess outfit appears in the corner of the screen.

"Wait a minute! That picture is from a penalty game." Keiichi yells defensively.

"So when did you decide to be gay." Bill asks.

"I'm not gay! You're taking this out of context! This has got to be the most offensive..."Yells Keiichi.

"Shut off his mike! When we return, we'll talk more to Mr. Keiichi Mitsubishi and his series "Homosexual Devil Worshipping the Japanese way" We'll be back after these messages in the no fact zone, on The O'Really Factor.

...and they all lived happily ever after. The end.


End file.
